June 23, 2014 — Has the range of possible gimmicks for fast-food restaurants been exhausted yet? Apparently not, because Union Square now hosts the first example of a would-be chain specializing exclusively in…ceviche! As if to telegraph its streamlined grab-and-go nature, co-owners Reina Laws and Lindsay Goldstein have named the place Cevich, leaving off the last "e" from a term that designates a cold seafood soup or salad common to Peru, Ecuador, and Mexico, in which raw seafood is "cooked" in citrus juice. Well, it's not really cooked, because heat is not applied and the fruit juice doesn't kill whatever bacteria may be on or in the fish, though the soakage renders the flesh opaque. Therefore, as with sushi and fish carpaccio, hygiene, freshness, and certainty about sources is paramount when it comes to where one consumes ceviche.
Located on East 15th Street, Cevich has that concrete bunker look often cultivated by modern fast-food spots, as if intentionally utilitarian and none too comfortable. One is permitted to perch and eat at one of the small number of stools and chairs, but not relax. Also in common with today's fast food joints featuring newfangled offerings, the menu is bewildering, offering choices you'd maybe rather not make. Ceviche is assembled in seven "signature styles," some relatively authentic, others invented out of whole cloth. These styles are available in two sizes, 12 ounce ($12) and 16 ounce ($14) — Why so little difference between sizes? Each serving allows you to select one out of the three types of seafood (shrimp, salmon, and tilapia — which technically isn't seafood, since it's farmed in fresh water). Confused yet? For some reason, salmon is $2 more expensive, and so is a combination of all three types in one serving. Plus there's a roster of add-ins, most priced at $2, including guacamole, avocado, extra sauce, and bacon. Bacon in ceviche? I'm throwing up a little in my mouth.